A Passionate Writer: Life Musings.

 

WHY AM I NOT GETTING A JOB: A KENYAN YOUTH.

”I have applied to a thousand jobs in the country. Going from Mara to the Tsavo, to the Lake Victoria. The little money I make, enables me to travel around and about whenever I hear about an enticing opportunity. Many a time, I have been a backpacker in horrible looking places with so many bedbugs. Surviving the bite of the bad smelling crawlers. I am miserable as I end up getting jobs I am not willing to take. But, I take anyway.”

”I have applied to so many companies, gone for numerous interviews, in vain. To the extent, I stopped applying. Now, I feel miserable as I see progressive youths as I languish in horror of, nipe, nipe, give me, give me”.

”I stopped applying for jobs when my last employer became quite a huge headache. Refusing to pay me the amount we had agreed on. Telling me that it wasn’t her I taught for the period of almost six months I worked in her school. That day, I vowed to never let a human being harass me, ever. So, we struck a deal after a huge fight and in instalments she paid me. Actually, it wasn’t her who paid me. Of course, they are a prominent family in Kenya, so, I wouldn’t dare mention their names”. This one is really true of me !

I am speaking from the horrible mess that’s the working force in Kenya. It’s either we are too lazy as youths, or jobs aren’t there, period! Both according to me. Look at the public civil servants, My God, those people, some are quite old can’t even walk uprightly. Coming to work when they please, very tired and grumpy. Complaining of the many workload at their place of work. Reporting for work at 11am. Who does that? Kenyan employees. Kenyans who want productivity and hefty salary perks for their mouths to feed and children to be clothed.

I also don’t understand why they ask for much money than they need. Have you ever asked yourself why salaries are too little in Kenya? It’s due to low productivity and lack of unions to fight for good packages. We’re content, aren’t we?

Woe unto the youth who still feels himself as employable. Woe unto you if you’re looking for the same job that your parent has been musing over and over. Get an education, come out here. Make money and stop seeking employment. Employ yourself. You keep stating there’s no capitals to start businesses you’d love to have. I believe there is, we just refuse to see. Our clogged eyes are dust-ful and blinded.

No wonder the Indian youth and man are surpassing us. Employing us for very dismissal salary with actually no pay because the little they pay us, is never sufficient for us. Houses’ rent have gone high, let’s say the cost of living. They keep giving us so small an amount, the one they gave our forefathers. We’re content, right? We work and overwork for a two days leave in  year. Life’s emergencies doesn’t allow or even concern the Mhindi. In fact the Indian man laughs at us. Then, end month, we have no salary for the day’s work we missed or we are simply paralysed with a lot of debt! My God!

We’ve so many problems, some which we have brought on us and some, we found there and have refused to eradicate. It’s a pity!

How do we get jobs? Why am I not employed? I also don’t know. Maybe, I’m lazy, or I give up too quickly or too tired to roll my sleeves for a ”competitive” Indian employer. I don’t know what my job ailment is really. Unless I try to sort out my mess, then, I may be doomed as my child(ren) may have nothing to eat. As their thin hands stretch out in agony. I won’t buy anything ever. I’ll always look as they grab land, build houses and so forth. As I have nothing of my own.

Why don’t I have a job will remain a question in my mind forever, until I have an emergency!

 

JUST ME

Every time I take my pen and paper, I brainstorm some ideas on them. Finding myself in this bizarre world of creating ideas from being isolated from the rest, not even from the wonderful world of my adventurous six year old. Who provides an uneven balance in my life and world. Most of the time, I find me loving to be alone, uninterrupted, undisturbed and such times, one can easily steal from me because, my mind is totally on what I am creatively penning. It pains me to be too alone and ‘self-centred’ as I have been labelled but what to do?

I love the world of expressing me,  mostly,  learning to do more and more. It is always an awesome reward when one earns something from their talents. In this page, I will be discussing anything, from personal, just anything funny and what else you suggest. Consider this as a place of meeting me who likes social events in Kenya. It’s Kenya I love to talk about,  it’s what I know about, more, at least.

Welcome to the passionate writer’s page, hope you find fun and something meaningful to bring home. Someone once said to me, a day gone without you learning something you never knew or knew but is presented in an angle you never anticipated, is a day not well spent. How would you like to spend your days? It’s always up to you, right? Wrong, very. Sometimes, we just have to be reminded, me, too, I have to told, ”did you forget people have a life out of writing?”.

 

Life is unfair, Love too unfair

Isn’t life funny? Why does it dwell us things we don’t always want or anticipate? Being a victim of such dwellings I have come to understand that, openness to anything coming your way, is just the answer. I met a guy, who seemed too funny, in a special way. He believed in us. I thought, what? This is too funny, professing love for me, love too deep for me. I laughed at him, he seemed serious, he was. I felt completely nothing for the guy, such a pity and pain. He knew, he knew because a friend of his told him, ‘we became intimate with her, she doesn’t love you man. You should have seen her”.

”Have you been going out with him?”, he asked. ”I can explain”, I said. ”I wish you knew how much I love you, no matter what, I am ready for it”, he said. On his knees, he went, asking me, proposing to me, because he thought I loved him as much. Blatantly, ”I just can’t Mike, sorry”. All his pals became too disappointed, my Mike left there genuflecting like a Roman Catholic nun. His head too bowed for me. Too painful to bear. Oh, for days, our contact died, as I had put my phone on airplane mode, I didn’t want to face him, I couldn’t, how could I?

Fate almost brought us, when I sort help around, dying of pain and joblessness. I recalled of a pal, the one I don’t have feelings for, Mike my pal. Of course, he said. You are welcome darling. Remember the times we spent together, I never forget them, they meant a lot to me. ”Do you remember when my birthday is?”.  ”On the 3rd of October?”.  ”Sweetie, see it’s on the 30th of January”, he corrected me. I felt too embarrassed wanting to run and hide, but how could I? Tell me. Again, I have let the love of my life down.

For days, I avoided him, he’d ask a question I am unprepared for. So I became airplane mode again. For months until, he broke down one day when I asked him for a favour. And that is the day, I learnt, returning favours is too important and especially, love favour.

In the Dead of the Night.

Curling, tossing and turning have become my thing for the past few days. Don’t ask why. I will tell you. I feel saddened, crushed, broken, stolen and completely lost. I am thinking of ways to help improve your life. Something came to me, crawling. A little thought crossed my mind tonight and the big question was: How can I change the world? I answered, Make people realise we are the same, that’s hard to do, though. We can start by preaching peace through religion. I got lost. I don’t think we can change the world like this, I said. Tossing and turning became the solution until I rolled.

The roof provided me with long answers. One was prominent among them. Seeming so tiny, too small and useless. I paid a closer attention to it. I rolled to my side and again, it repeated until, I jumped out of the hot bed. It was New Year. It’s another time we sing rejoice, rejoice. Yet, we forget something.

Depressing sleep. Then, I asked the first member of the family I saw, my child. ”What do you think about the world?”. She said, ”very beautiful, God gave us. He gave me my mummy and all my family”. Well, that’s her. My sister told me, ” if only there were no rapists, thugs, corruption”. Concurring with them. I added, ”it’s you”. They were mesmerised. ”Me?”.  ”Yes, you. What have I done early in the morning to you?”. ”You”. She is not very patient so she proceeded to do her things and avoided me for a while. Attacking her with the question again, revealing the answer to her, ”You are the Change”.

Of course, I doubt she understood why I told her that. In short, you are the beginner and the ender of the misery you want to see eradicated from the world. Start by not taking bribery. Start by standing up for the oppressed. Start by fighting for your rights. Don’t be like those who resigned to fate.

Make your 2015 your year of achievement because it’s The Year of Realisation. The Millenium Development Goals were to be realised in 2015. Much has happened since 2000: poverty, hunger, diseases, illiteracy have been weeded out, not entirely. It’s your turn to make the MDGs happen in your life. It’s time to wake up in the Dead of Night and form a way forward. Don’t dream it, wake and walk it.

HAPPY 2015. DON’T MAKE RESOLUTIONS, MAKE REALISATIONS!!!

 

Miracles of Kindness. 

Treading through the tough wavy waters, hope flew from my veins. Hope that made me strong for the past few days, went. Taken by the tidal waves, it vanished. All I had was the hand of my daughter in tow, the hope of her small fingers. We wouldn’t eat her small fingers, we had to find something. ”Mum, it will be alright, singing this song to my water-filled ears. It will be all right”. I felt like crying, but, that would encourage her to, even more. It would make her lose hope.

We went further and further digging our toes and fingers in the ground. All hope had risen from the enormous soul I had. I will never give up, I said to myself and to her, in my heart. We will never give up. Today, we brave hunger, spite, maltreatment, know what, we will have no one to blame, not ourselves, not the world. Ours is to find footing in the harsh world. Ours is to shake in joy that we have been given the zeal to fight. Evening came as we braved the night cement cold, at least, we had a roof and blankets to cover us. But, we were still running short of body fuel. We held hands and powerfully said a prayer to the mighty power in Heaven. It felt good, that night, hunger was never witnessed. The following morning, we knew would be a better day.

After days of knocking on doors; metal and wooden, being shut away, we had to fight for us. Her and me. So,  we put the small vegetable we had in the pot and braved our buds with no salt to eat with. It tasted like pepper,  better for our tummies. Carrying the day, walking from office to office but coming home with sullen faces. Before dusk, a message got to my phone. It was the message of hope, ”Don’t despair, help is coming your way”. We went to sleep happy, high fiving each other in the dark lit house. The only source of light, the outside glowering electricity from the neighbourhood.

”Not much, but will help you”, the message of hope said. We got what we had craved for, now we could buy bread and pay some debts. Our lives were about to change forever, ever since we met the angel. The angel came with much hope, restoring all we had lost and to the heavens we raised our hands in unison, ”AMEN and live long”. It’s how we have made it till now. We hope one day to make it a miracle in your life.

Never give up. Hold on, we keep singing to each other’s ears. Forever, recalling where we have come from, with smiles.

 

 BROKEN HEART: WHY TO NEVER CRY

If you have never been in love, you will surely not know what I am talking about. There are many, far too many things which can break your heart. Love is the thing that really really makes the heart go awry, berserk, sad and mad.

Having faced far too many heartbreaking moments and having broken hearts and minds at the same time has taught me hard lessons.

1.  A heart breaking moment is bound to happen in future, if you stay. Why cry? Feels like building a wall of depression. So many women experience, ”this is never going to work” moments, yet, we choose to stay. We thought it’d be okay to stay or things would change or just avoiding being too lonely. Who should you blame than yourself?

2.  You hold a key for your soul, heart and mind. Tears make a woman feel and fall too deeply into self-pity. Yes, creating a list of reasons why to blame yourself and so on and forth. Why waste a whole afternoon and day crying? Why? It makes you want to go back, makes you feel you deserve it. You deserve better and greater not someone who makes you tear. You deserve a great moment with life not one filled with swollen eyes.

3. Feelings of worthlessness. How many times have you cried because you felt nice. I remember this time I cried because I felt and knew how too little I was. It felt so stinging a pain I stopped crying. My whole heart was coming out; like someone had just plucked it out. It pained and I hated myself, I felt too bad for what I got myself into. Yet, there was nothing I had done.

In sum, why do you cry? Why wouldn’t you? I cry so many times in a day I lose count. My tears build up like a well with no start or end. They cloud my eyes seeing what’s in front becomes a task. I cry because I reflect on so many things and realise there are too many mistakes I have made. I really cry for things I have never forgiven myself for. I find me crying for the kids with no abode, it’s hurting when you have absolutely everything in life.

I love to cry because it’s fun to cry. I love to cry because after the waters have downed themselves, what I feel is pleasure. Reassurance and self-worth. That I can take another day to a mountainous region in my life. I can make it, I can do it. Tears reveal a heap of things in my life. They remind me that I am a human being, with too deep emotions, with failures, triumphs and trials.

Tears teach me a lesson I never want to forget. But, as human nature demands, forgetting is very easy. Plunging back to old selves is quite quick. Tears remind me that I am a meaningful person. Yet, I say I would love to decry my tears. I would love to build hope with no tears. In vain.

Cry with and for a purpose. Cry for a cause. At least, I know when to cry and when not to. I know when to shove them tears away to where they belong. To something very very meaningful!.

How do you cry?

 

 BUT, LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION.

Life accords us situations where we know not where the path leads. We are often tempted to do things contrary to our beliefs because we are: desperate, angered, ruthless and merciless. But, lead us not into temptation.

We feel like we have lost. Didn’t we try to better ourselves over and over? Didn’t we try various methods to become who we want to be? We failed; ”work hard” worked not. Now, we feel hopeless, helpless, nothing. But, lead us not into temptation.

We are small before your eyes, we know not what’s best for us. Taking strides we believe to be the best ever thing. Then, our strides lead us into the murk. Murk spoilt with human dirt until it becomes black. But, lead us not into temptation.

Feelings of despair cloud us. Devils from the past haunt us. Trying to reinvent ourselves is what we do with the waking hour. We remain the same; bad, evil, vengeful. But, lead us not into temptation.

What’s it you have been battling with. Dating a married man, stealing, or just jobless? How many times have you been tempted to do what’s contrary to what you believe in? The only solution is to say, ”Lead us not into temptation”.

What temptations are you battling with? I have many.

MONEY: IS IT THE KEY TO HAPPINESS?

I have met many including me who think and know that money is the root of man’s happiness. Yes, to some,  it’s the answer to human solutions. Wait until you get so much money and you get so evil that people say, since he got money, gosh! Waweru has been a peacock. Tangu aangukie mamilioni, mjamaa amekuwa mnyama. Since, you got millions, the man has become really mean, like an animal.

Then people say all sorts. How you stole to enable you reach where you are. How you whored yourself and many other things. Human nature, quite sly and very observant. Haven’t you ever wondered then why the wishes turn?  ”He’ll lose his money. He’s a scam”

A few things have to be told to you who loves money so much. To the extent you can never function without it. First, before we go there, money enables us to pay bills. It doesn’t have to mean that we stay without it. We need, want it. It’s human need. Now, never say that your projects stalled because you had no money. I have had stories of men and women who went to build empires without money.

How did they do it? With a will, they made it using, WILL. They sat down to look at the importance of money, measured, calculated and weighed it. Found it was too important but not very important. They set their priorities right by cultivating into a niche, built it to the extent they felt, this is it. If you look too much into the money, you fail to see the importance of essential needs.

Someone I know told me, ”I can never be happy if I don’t have money”. I looked deeply into those eyes. Seeing how serious they were, I sampled lots of answers to questions asked. We concluded this, we need money. But, we don’t need it to make us happy. Finding our passions, cultivating our time and energies into them is far more fulfilling than the love of money. Love from families can help distract us from the love of money.

Whenever I talk like this I hear so much complains. You will die poor with your beliefs. You will never make it and so on and forth. I have so far learnt one thing, the more I go forth with a belief in myself so intense than the need for, of money, I will reach my goals. I will create a destiny not only for me, but for others as well.

So, next time you are thinking of making money. Ask you these questions: 1. Are your aims money only? 2. Will you find fulfillment in this new venture even when the business fails? 3. Do you really need this venture even if you don’t love it?

Now, write down your answers very carefully according to how you feel them. Not lying to yourself is far better than lying. We all have our desires, each different. Don’t be ashamed even if yours fall inside money. Slowly, you can change your attitude, right?

Take the journey to making money with a very open heart. Knowing there will be times you get nothing and you cannot please every eye.

Hope I do make some sense for you. Would you survive without money? Does money make you very happy?

 

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