Every New Year, I wondered WHY, in fact, I felt like the world doesn’t deserve a NEW YEAR.
I felt sad to be a part of – I felt like the world conspired against me, always. I felt angry at everybody, someone else- I suffered from within I thought I needed to be somewhere but I wasn’t there.
It was jittery moments.
When 2018 started, I told myself, come 2019, I’ll be part of the celebration, in fact, I’ll celebrate myself, achievements, failures, yes, it’s important to celebrate failures.
You know, when you celebrate your failure, you don’t curse yourself you appreciate your guts and efforts for trying or for even lifting that phone to call( one of my terrifying moments).
I discovered a way of expressing myself through quotes in October, so I created a lot of printable quotes, which I could sell.
Okay, I have soo many quotes in my archives, but, I didn’t know I could sell them individually and people would be interested in buying.
I’m no graphic designer, I’m learning. But I found out I need not be one there are outlets already made for non-graphic artists to help explore themselves like Picmonkey and Canva.
I jumped right in. At first, I didn’t realise the work the art requires but did anyway.
I love learning in the job taught myself what clip-art is. How to buy, unzip folders, decompress folders, even uploading my work for others to download, print and use.
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I made no sale! I got lots of likes for my thoughtful quotes, as I was told but no sale, nothing!
I promised myself to keep looking forward, keep creating and selling. In December, I took a long deserving rest because I felt like there was non stop work since October.
As the New Year 2019 clicked in, I was happy, over-joyed, was creating content for 2019, I felt like I have started not feeling overwhelmed but with focus, clear goals and vision, with direction of where and what I want for both my life, personal life and businesses( I have several).
Why then was I always depressed every New Year?
I never felt like I had done enough.
Instead of thanking God for the year, I always worried about what they year had in store for me.
I rested a lot, cleared my mind of work. I can say with strength that my vacation was well deserved.
I tuned my mind, I set my mind to look forward rather than look for failures.
I congratulated myself and body for the year before.
I just realised though it’s a New Year, I’m me and was looking forward to doing me.
I had a lot to give and paving the year with a lot of worry only ages me. I want to enjoy my body, soul and mind not fill myself with worry.
I learnt how to stop, let go bounce back and begin.
I’m not afraid.
I can do it again and again. I had already known what I wanted to do 2019 and 50 years from then, so I waited to create my content and impact lives.
I felt like my thirst was unquenchable and what I had learnt over the years especially online needed to be taught to other women, because I know some of us are struggling like I did. To find a job, or get out of wacky relationships, or a job that sucks( yes, we will curse and swear like it’s words), normal words, I mean.
I told myself and finally believed that 2019 is MY YEAR.
I need to be proud of being a writer, I have always been ashamed to say what I do, so I said and did many other things.
I need to add to my income.
I just decided, I can be happy, within myself make myself happy and help others be happy.
If you have depressing holiday seasons, it’s because you do what I was doing above.
Want a fulfilling year free of stress – where obstacles get scared?
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